Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Communicate, Communicate!

 A slice of advice:

When my husband and I decided to get married years ago, we made a commitment to each other to always talk things out. I honestly have to say it has been one of the most important things that have kept our marriage all these years.

It used to take me weeks to get over an offense.  I would walk around the house and do what I needed to do and not say a word!  What a waste of time.  I finally understood what the Word of God says, “Do not let the sun go down on your wrath”.  You may not always agree, but you can agree to disagree.

It is so important to respect what the other person is saying even if you feel you are right.  It’s sometimes better to be quiet and listen.  It brings sweetness to your marriage and honor to your commitment for each other.  Being right isn’t always right!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Sleeping with the enemy:

A slice of advice:

Ever have a big fight with your spouse?  We all go through this at some point or another.  The important thing to remember is that it will pass.  

You might think ‘I can’t believe this is the same man I married, what is wrong with that man?’  Love him! That’s right love him, even if at the moment you can’t get past your pain, do it as unto the Lord who sees all.  Make a breakfast feast or a wonderful dinner with some of the things he loves. (Remember, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach).

The Word of God says to “Heap coals of love on your enemy” (that’s what it feels like when you’ve had fighting words, just being honest here!)   Forgive, even when the pain is still there.  Do it even when you don’t feel like it and watch things turn around.

Listen to me; it took me many years to figure this one out, learn it fast.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

When problems arise

A slice of advice:
Don’t forget your friend or your parent’s friend.  Don’t always go to your family for help when trouble comes.  A neighbor close by is better than family far away.  Proverbs 27:10
When it comes to problems that arise in a marriage it is never wise to go to your family (that includes your family or in-laws) for help. When trouble arises in your marriage, it is better to find a close friend, a good neighbor or an elder (preferably a woman of integrity who has been married and who is seasoned with the wisdom of God) for help. 
The wisdom here is family will judge and hold the offense, long after the problem between you and your spouse has been resolved.  This is one way to honor marriage.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Give me 20 minutes please!

A slice of advice:
I call this the 20 minute rule.   When your spouse gets home (give a kind greeting) then give him 20 minutes to unwind.  It takes time to get the mind from work to home.   It is something I have taught my children as well.  Whenever someone has been away from home for hours greet them and then give them 20 minutes to unwind.  

There was a very short period of time when the roles reversed and my spouse was home before I got home, rather than get agitated, I made a ritual of coming home and taking a 20 minute shower.  This gave me pause and time to regroup my thoughts. I was refreshed, I got a 20 minute break and all was well! 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Never ask a single woman for marital advice

A slice of advice:      

A single woman may have ideas on how she would handle a situation, but because she hasn’t actually experienced marriage she is not authorized to do so.   A married woman cares about the things concerning her husband and her household.  Seek God's wisdom and find a woman (older who’s been married longer or married before) that you can trust that can help you.  

Photo courtesy of:

Thursday, April 7, 2011


They say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach - in other words feed him!  Sounds easy, isn’t that what a wife is supposed to do?   

Sure it is, however, I hate cooking!!  Truth be told, I would rather clean the bathrooms than cook.   

I used to have a plate in my kitchen that said, “The only reason I have a kitchen, is because it came with the house!”   I thought that line was hysterical and so me!  I had it for years until it broke…was that a sign for me to keep cooking?

My husband knows I don’t like to cook, but I have found ways to make things that are edible because I had too. I am fortunate that he will consume just about anything.  His mother was a wonderful cook, so there is no comparison here.  We found a way to work it out, I cook and you eat what I cook!

Maybe cooking is not your thing?  Don’t feel bad about it, do the best you can.  If there is something you’re good at, keep doing what you do best. You can always take a class on something you want to improve.  Don’t worry about all the things that you cannot do.  Do your best, we all have something that we can do!

How to be a Wife


My name is Irma and I am writing to help many of you women who are newly married, never married, want to be married, have been married and maybe need a little help in navigating on being a wife.  

I have been married for 31 years and I do not profess to know it all. I am still learning some things.  What I do know - I want to share with you!

Here are some of the things I want to talk about...

  • Honoring your husband
  • Being a woman of integrity
  • Persevering in good times and bad
  • Faith
  • Guarding your heart, your home
  • Having a moral compass
  • Teaching moments-a slice of advice
  • Loyalty
I look forward to walking this journey with you....